Separation

 After you send in a letter of resignation to a place of work, the word separation gets used a lot. 

A separation of you and the place of business.  

I guess to appropriately sum it up, that is the best way to describe it. I tried to figure out a more fitting word but couldn't seem to find one. In my particular scenario, it feels like an amicable break-up. A divorce of some sort because you both realize that your relationship was no longer serving you. You've grown, they've grown, and unfortunately that growth was apart from one another. 

I think if we've all experienced anything over the last few years, one thing that a lot of people have done is a reprioritization of life things. The time we spend and who that time with spent is more important. If I've learned anything about myself recently, it's that I definitely did not have things prioritized in a way that was healthiest for me. 

So, that's what I'm doing. Reprioritizing. 

Reprioritizing and choosing a healthier path, for me. 

This wasn't an easy realization to come to. I've given 9.5 years of literal blood sweat and tears to a mission and goals that I whole heartedly believe in. I've chosen days on the road and cleaning kennels over holidays with family. I've chosen extra long days of work over birthdays and anniversaries. 

I don't for one minute regret any of it. But part of me does wonder if I'd be making this choice of separation if I would've made different ones before. If I would've chosen myself, my family before - would I be in a better place now to keep going... 

I will never get an answer to that. And that's okay. 

But I do want to take a moment to reflect on the last (almost) decade of work. I found myself in this work young and bright-eyed, passionate and eager to make a huge difference for humans and their pets. I think about the thousands of kittens that I was able help. I think about all the senior dogs that may not have had a chance at a second chance outside of the shelter. I think about all the people I've worked with who are all so tirelessly passionate about helping the people and pets in their communities. I also think about all the ones I couldn't help and how the work must go on...

I still have that passion, and for right now, I'm going to move it a little bit further down the list of things to give myself and my family more space. I can't continue at a pace that no longer serves my health or my family. So, the separation begins. 

Today is my last day with a place of business who provided so much for me. I grew up here. Literally.

Over the last (almost) decade life was also happening around all the thousands of dogs and cats. I have met friends that will last a lifetime - we've adopted new family members together, we've lost family members together, we've all laughed together, and worked really damn hard together, we've grieved together, we've grown up together. 

And for all of that, this separation doesn't feel so dire. I will miss the work tremendously but I will be forever grateful for this place and the people I've worked with.