Cancer.

(close your eyes, count to 10, remember to breathe)

 ---"Cancer is the general name for a group of more than 100 diseases. Although there are many kinds of cancer, all cancers start because abnormal cells grow out of control. Untreated cancers can cause serious illness and death."

---"No matter where a cancer may spread, it’s always named for the place where it started. For example, breast cancer that has spread to the liver is called metastatic breast cancer, not liver cancer. Likewise, prostate cancer that has spread to the bone is called metastatic prostate cancer, not bone cancer. 

---"Different types of cancer can behave very differently. For instance, lung cancer and skin cancer are very different diseases. They grow at different rates and respond to different treatments. This is why people with cancer need treatment that is aimed at their kind of cancer." 

---"Half of all men and one-third of all women in the US will develop cancer during their lifetimes."

(close your eyes, count to 10, remember to breathe)

Cancer by definition seems pretty straight forward. There are tumors: the tumors may or may not spread. The tumors may or may not continue to grow. You can treat cancer and you may or may not live. 

The doctors sit you down and explain that there will be treatment: radiation, chemotherapy, medication for pain. 

But what they forget to include in their pamphlets of information about the "battle against cancer" is how to define the side effects.... there is of course information for "what to expect." But until we are sitting face to face with it, all the pamphlets of information becomes useless. There is no preparing for the battle. 

(close your eyes, count to 10, remember to breathe)

Cancer spreads through the body, it seeps through the bones and the skin...it is airborne and affects everyone in the room. We are all fighting this fight together. 

I am not the one diagnosed with cancer. But I can feel it inside my chest, squeezing my heart. It weighs down on my shoulders and makes me feel tired, angry, helpless, hopeless, sad... Every now and then I feel it knock me against the wall 

(close your eyes, count to 10, remember to breathe) 

Cancer isn't just malignant tumors and radiation treatments... it's high doses of morphine, and 14+ medications to keep track of...it's sleepless nights, it's wheelchairs, and walkers, and stuffy waiting rooms... it's pleading with insurance companies, waiting to speak with doctors. It's shuffling of schedules and questions....so many questions... 

It's worrying, heartbreak, triumph, cherishing the small things, good days, and lots of bad days.  

Cancer by definition should be family. Because without a support system or a team behind you to help you through it. Cancer wins. 

(close your eyes, count to 10, remember to breathe)

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