An Unfinished Puzzle


On a small corner table in the radiology office sits a puzzle. It's only 1,000 pieces. Its an image of a small farm house in the spring time with blossoming tulips and yellow wild flowers growing lavishly around it...

I love puzzles. When I was a kid, my parents had a puzzle board that we would slide under the couch when we weren't working on it. We'd sit as a family and piece together oceans and city skylines. I've been to India and the Great Wall of China, I've been swimming with dolphins and sat in a field of hot air balloons. I would be lying if I didn't say that the reason I love puzzles so much isn't for the whimsy and nostalgia. Although I enjoy the challenge and the rewarding feeling of placing that perfect piece to complete the image, I enjoy them most because it reminds me of sitting around the living room floor with my family traveling to all the places that we never knew we'd be able to visit...dreaming.

I find it funny that the place I hate the most right now contains one of the things I hold dearest to my heart. And the thing that makes me hate it even more is that it's never finished. Visiting the "cancer" wings of the hospital always brings a sort of dread for me...everyone knows why you're there. You pretend to be strong for the hours that you're there but everyone else is going through the same exact thing...you pass people in the halls and give a friendly nod, you say good morning and continue on to radiation and chemotherapy where you know the ones you love are going to be abused of some sorts. Poison and radiation are pumped through all parts of their bodies, thrashing their insides and making them seemingly more sick than they were before the treatments. The doctors tell you it's "killing the cancer," but all it feels like is that they're killing what's left of the one you love.

The puzzle is set there to distract you from the reality of whats going on behind closed doors... it's a friendly nod in the hallway. I suppose it's there to take you away for just a moment from what you will be faced with when you get home; disorientation, nausea, fatigue... But no one is ever able to finish it. It sits there for months, unfinished. There are misplaced pieces and probably most have been lost. What is the point of putting a puzzle to ease you're mind if all it does is frustrate you more. It will never be finished...

Or maybe it's just a puzzle sitting on a small table in the corner of the waiting room.

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