The toughest woman in the world.*

10:50 AM, Tuesday, Februrary 12, 2013.

I've been sitting here staring at a blank screen for quite a while now debating on whether or not to write a post. I've started writing a few times only to delete the one or maybe two sentences that have escaped my finger tips.

I've been writing a lot in the last five months and only sharing with you all the things that I felt I really wanted to share. At first I thought maybe I'd share this heart warming story of some great memory of a beautiful moment that I had with my aunt. But I couldn't think of one.

Then I thought maybe I'd tell you about yesterday morning and her last breath...or the last three days, but that just makes me feel like it would be too sad (it wasn't very pretty). And to be honest it's all a little blurry right now.

I searched the internet looking for similar stories but all I found were stories of "success." I guess the cancer blogs forget to remind people that we don't always get to beat cancer. We do not always get to be cancer free. I thought about writing about that too, but that makes me a little angry.

I even played with the idea of not saying anything...but I couldn't just end this journey that I've been sharing with all of you in silence...with no ending.

So I guess, for now, all I have to say is this...

The last five months have been nothing less than an emotional and physical whirlwind. But through the whole journey I've found that even though my aunt didn't get to be a cancer success story, she was strong. She was stronger than anyone I have ever known. She fought until the end. She fought even after she decided not to fight using chemotherapy and radiation. I always knew she was strong willed and...tough.

But this proved it. She defied odds and baffled doctors. Because that's just the kind of woman she was.

Annette Olazabal will always be (in my heart) the toughest woman in the world.



*I may have borrowed this from a Sherman Alexie short story which is about an Indian fighter. That is really the only thing relevant from that story to any of this. I just like the way it sounds. :-)

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